Saturday Night Confessions!

These are my confessions..cue Usher song..LOL
Just kidding..sticking with my New Year's Resolution..you know the one about Writing becuase after all WRITERS WRITE! So many excuses are now null..void and lets be honest they are excuses and as my lovely Southern Grandma used to say.." Excuses are like booties..we all got em' and they all stink!". Gotta embrace the truth of an old southern saying that while a little crass (spelling?) is so true!
So here is my attempt at writing consistently and maybe trying to get the 5 people in the world who read my blog to chuckle a little..so here are my confessions on this Saturday night..don't know what caused me to do this..it could be the Mexican food I just ingested..sucked down..Mexican food makes me honest..
1. I'm pretty much the same as I was when I was 6. Seriously, while I may be more mature I pretty much still have the same personality and tolerance level.
2. I think I need to seriously seek therapy for my addiction to the TWILIGHT books. I've read them all 3 times and listened to them on Audiobooks about 10 times each..I know.."WHERE DO U GET the TIME?" Seriously, audiobooks on an ITOUCH is life changing people! You can do so much while youlisten to a book and the narrator for those books is soo good. I'm thinking that my love of listening to them has something to do with finding an escape from all the recent saddness in my life..but who knows maybe I'm just a dork.
3. Everyone thinks I'm a great cook..I'll admit I am..but my kids eat a lot of Easy Mac and sandwiches..sometimes I'm lazy.
4. I never reveal my TRUE weight..I always fudge by at least a few pounds
5. Speaking of addictions...did I mention I listen to books on my I-touch..a lot! I'm trying to listen to sermons and the Bible to balance out all the other garbage I listen to.
6. And the biggest confession..I am such a dork that I actually went to the midnight showing of New Moon and was SUPER excited to see it and yes I will do the same for the next movies..so there..who cares if I'm 30..I'm still a teen inside!
Ahh..feel so much better..what are your saturday night confessions or are you out having a good time or doing something cool? Whatever..

Letter of Intent

The stinkin' Letter of Intent Icon won't upload because my computer is a RA-TARD

Dear Nicholas.
I know you are deaf and autistic and thus cannot hear and really understand anything but I have a few little things I would like to get off my chest. First, I love when you kiss me..but if you could please do it without smashing my face off..that would be awesome! Next, while I love the ease of diapers, maybe almost 6 years old is a bit old to still be wearing them?? I mean buddy, you poop like a man and its very hard to "stomach it". Also, if you could stop writing your name on the wall, the shower in steam, the car window and with yogurt and instead use a pencil and write on paper..it'd be much obliged...but most of all Nicholas thanks or being such a super awesome kid! You amaze me daily with your ability to figure out the world around you and somehow find a way to thrive. I pray that one day you will learn how to talk, sign or at least somehow communicate enough to tell all those neurologists,geneticists,etc..that said to forget about you and to expect nothing to KISS OFF..hmmm maybe I'll make shirts. I wish you could understand how much everyone loves you! You are a blessing to my life and those around and I wouldn't have you any other way..you are an EXERCISE in patience..and I know that someday when you meet me in heaven you'll be the most beautiful, hearing, speaking,running and understanding Angel anyone has ever met.now if you could just please use the toilet and not finger paint your glasses, put your cochlear in the washing machine, toilet or out of the car window, or...well anyway I guess I'll keep you anyway.
Love,
Mom

Wordless Wednesday

Story behind picture..this is what one looks like when they have been all numbed up for dental work..I was smiling normal but half my face was numb..my Dad was laughing so hard!

Stream of Consciousness

Just write whats on your mind..my brain is a really crowded place to go..do you really want a peak in there?
I am so sick of being plump. want my old youthful body back and whjy is this stupid weight staying on??? WTH!!! I wish I could look like I have it all together and why do I really bother writing on this blog at all..noone reads it..but do i really care..sometimes its just nice to vent and say what you need to say and get it out there..its freeing in a way..I use the .....way too much but I think it shows my pause and reflect..its the poet in me...the wait and the pause signify thought and well pause..I need to go the gym and work some booty off but I also need to clean the house..and get a real job and get out of debt and refinish my kitchen cabinets and balance my checkbook and trim all the bushes in the front yard and write a book which keeps bouncing around in my head..Does blogging mean you are an attention whore? Geez I really should use better language and beter spelling..I'm a disgrace to Englsih degree holders everywhere..look I even mispelled English! People, I can spell its my typing skills which SUCK! Speaking of sucking..Cancer sucks..I miss my mom..I think of her at least once every 30 minutes..her picture is looking at me right now and I spoke to it..alright I talk to her all the time becuase I know she can hear me and it makes me feel better..so does blogging or writing anyway..who cares if no one cares it feels good to release it..Grr..I'm feeling responsibel now so I better get off and clean..ta ta for now!

All that really matters..is the ever after..

What does this mean to you? Is it about love? is that all that matters the happy ever after?? I heard this line or something like it in a song on the radio and I wrote it down, becuase thats what I do..I hear words or lines and I write them down becuase they usually lead me on some other tangent. To me they mean the real ever after..the place we go when we die..ever after..forever after..you know eternity. Really everything we have on earth means so little and we can't take it with us when we leave. All that is left of us when we leave is the memories and the lives we've touched. Its so true that one should spend their life earning tresures but those treasure are the eternal tresures and crowns that one may only redeem in heaven..I am so grateful that while I was never overly materialistic or vain, I have been humbled greatly and God brought me to my knees by snatching my mother away from me..I get it now..I have seen the light (Cheesy I know..but sooo true)All that realy matters IS the EVER AFTER! Afterall life is just a practice round where God grooms you and molds you into the person you are suppossed to be and prepares you for Eternity with Him. So even when the whole world feels like its falling apart, try and see the purpose of it, suffering is good for you. it humbles you..it rebuilds you and as long as you can see that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes even when you can't, trust in God. He does have your back and no one thats ever followed Him has been led the wrong way. They may have been led astray by other forces but never away and I assure you that they will spend the Ever After with Him and thats all the really matters.

Neighborhood Christmas Party!

These are my wild and crazy neighbors! This was our 6th(?)annual Christmas Party. These crazy people are a big part of the reason why it would be very hard to leave this neighborhood..They seriously are like family..a large dysfunctional but lovable family..Check out the kids all sitting on the stairs..crazy children..Love em' all and we had a great time and the tamales were fabuloso!

Cookin' with the Fam Bam!

Okay so every year...for the past 3 or so..we have this little holiday cookie cookin' tradition so we can spend time with my bestest cousin Heidi and her girlies..We make a lot of cookies and the kids eat a lot of sugar, frosting and cookies..but its all good anyway..It was a little weird without my mom being there..but we marched ..or should I say..baked on and I'm glad we did. The results were..delicious..(oh..just a side note..my stupid computer won't let me write about each picture individually..so know these pictures are of my family..Tom, my brother and Christy his wife. My aunt Jackie and her daughter Sarah and son Tristan. My cousin Heidi and Makayla and Nia her daughters and my kids, Isaiah, Andrew and Nicholas..)