Monday, August 31, 2009

Monday morning update

This weekend I went to Havasu on Friday to do some house work on one of my parent's rentals..had to get it ready for Labor Day weekend. Their friends Gary and Melissa majorly helped me out..okay let me emphasize the major would have taken me all day and night to get that house back together. just some knowledge to pass on your way..friends that will scrub toilets for you when you are sick are keepers...seriously..golden keepers. Also, some more advice..on the way from their house the boys and I heard the funniest country song ever..ready..the chorus line went something like this.." Dip me in beer and throw me to the drunk chicks..over the bar into a redneck mosh pit.." with the appropriate southern twang and nasally draw of course..Oh Lord did we laugh about that.
But back to reality now, Saturday we headed over to Vegas to visit the mom in the hospital and she looked GREAT! she got that stupid tube (NG tube) out of her nose and was sitting up and all fresh and pretty. Good thing because she had a lot of visitors to come and see her. Me and my 2 oldest boys, my aunt Jackie and her two kiddos, Paul and Virginia who are old..time wise not age friends and my uncle Wally and aunt Lisa. She got so much loving she didn't know what to do about it. I made her this big posterboard full of pictures that says WE LOVE YOU MOM GET BETTER! and brought her all the emails and cards that people had sent her. That made her feel very good and very loved. We all took turns visiting her and rotating in the cafeteria downstairs. Then I left and took my grandma (mom's mom who has been in the hospital, her house or the hotel room for 3 weeks) out to play black jack for awhile..okay i basically left her in the casino alone at the black Jack table for an hour and a half while i went to henderson to retrieve the boys. She ended up winning $150. geez some people have all the luck..
Took her back to her hotel and sent the boy with my cousin Heidi's husband Steve who took them back to their hotel filled them with sugar and chips and played roughly with them while Heidi and I sat in the jacuzzi and drank a margarita. It actually was a some what relaxing weekend and much better than the sobbing wreck of a weekend the week before. mom got to go home!!! my Dad had everything ready to parked in front of hospital and loaded perfectly at 7:15 so when we got there to give her a hug goodbye and so the boys could see her..we nearly got ran over by a wheelchair pushing mom actually had to tell him to stop pushing so she could hug her sanitized grandchildren and nephew. Once he loaded her in the car and started to takeoff..Paul and Virginia rolled up and blocked him in..Virginia lept out of her car and ran to my parents car and ripped the door off to give my one my last hug..then Paul parked his car..jumped out of his window and flew across the parking lot to get his goodbye in as well..okay I might have over dramatized this a tad but you get the idea.
So now my little momma is home in her big house with her big strong husband to take care of her and a feedbag to keep her nice and strong oh and a little wiry German mother to cook and clean while she heals..I'll be up there again next weekend to bless them all with some Jennifer lovin' ha ha ha..feelin so goofy today. As always keep the momma in your prayers and hearts.
Thanks so much!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

prayer request

Hey all,
Please write my mom a little note of encouragment and let her know she is in your thoughts. she knows she needs a miracle and she's asking for help. So please put her on your prayer lists and pray hard my little prayer warriors.. Thanks so much. You can send me emails for her and I'll make sure she gets fact I'll read everyone of them to her.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

update on Mom

My mom had chemo this morning and tolerated it well. She got a sudden burst of energy and was walking all over the halls and trying to eat straight off the food cart, but she is only allowed broth and jello. Eventually, my dad got her to settle down and chow down on some yummy jello and broth...mmmm..mmm. She's still pretty loopy and out of it but she's trying to stay positive and look ahead but of course, two steps forward, 4 steps back. Later in the day she pulled out her NG tube and was throwing up here we go again...Can't get her to keep the food down which makes her weak and even less able to handle and fight the cancer. My dad is hanging in there although he says he feels like he is in hell.You go to bed at night and try to fall asleep as fast as you can and then when you wake up you look around and just feel the slow creeping of grief crawl up on you and slap you hard in the face. It literally feels like someone is taking a shotgun to your chest and just blowing away. The pain is horrible and to watch your mother sit there and suffer is just unimaginable and even more so for my dad, this is his soul mate. He feels like a part of himself is being ripped from him. All we can do now is pray and hope for a miracle. So here goes some more prayers up to Heaven...

Wordless Wednesday

On vacation with the family July 2009
showing Nicholas how to work the mashed potatoes..yummmm

In Idaho, July 2008

Mom and Tom on his birthday 2007

Celebrating Grandma jester's 80th with all her freaks and weirdos..

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

My big Daddy and Mom kickin' it at my house back in January
Hang in there Mom!! Fight the fight and WIN!!!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Cancer sucks and coming clean!

Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks the life out of you and slaps your spirit around. It makes you hunch over and walk like an old lady and makes your skin hang on your bones. It is the ul;timate diet in that it starves your body, and rapes your soul. It makes you and the ones who love you question their lives, their God and their purpose. It makes you cry, puke, bleed, and sleep. Sleep in not the peaceful way you once did but in little intermittent bouts of pain/nauseua induced sleep. Pure and simple, cancer sucks. It sucks the life out of you and it sucks the life out of all who love you. Ahh..that felt good.
With my mom having cancer I have really started to question life and myself. Am I living the life I wanted to be living and more importantly am I the child God wants me to be? Up until Friday, I wasn't. I was a good person, a good mother, and a good friend,daughter, etc. but I was also a liar and a deciever in that I didn't have enough faith in God to know that telling the truth to myself and all around would be fine, becuase God would be there and he would pave my roads. I thought I wasn't good enough and that I could handle everything on my own..guess what??? WRONG! U need God and u need God to help you along the way by him showing you his will and his perfect plan and then you have to listen. For so long I have been praying but I just recently realized that sometimes you have to shut up and give God a chance to talk. Suddenly..or maybe not that sudden the answer will come clear. I had that moment..I finally realized that I needed to completely let go and let GOD lead my life. No more lies, even if they were just meant to keep the "boat from rocking". I have jumped off my sinking boat and started swimming straight to God and you know what? I feel great, I feel purposeful and I feel ready to live life as the girl I'm suppossed to be. Your words can't hurt me any longer because I am no longer that person who is hiding.The truth will set you free and it really does..TRUST ME!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The road less traveled..

Two roads diverged in the woods...and I took the path less traveled on..Robert Frost.
I feel this particular line from this poem has so much significance to me now. We pray and pray to God to give us courage and strength but it seems He never does..then one day you realize that when you were praying for courage and strength He was giving it to you all along..He was giving you the opportunity to be strong and brave in different situations. Why is it that these things can't just come wrapped up in pretty boxes so we could so easily accept them and apply them to our lives? The answer is because that would be TOO easy and would not help to build character. Sometimes life is more about the journey then about the destination. Lately, I have been on what seems like a 10 year destination to find and fill this inner hole. I've prayed about it, been mad about it, tried to ignore it, tried to fill it with stupid things but have finally realized that in order for me to fill this void I may have to travel down the road less traveled..the bumpy one off the beaten path..because along that path hopefully I can find the answers that i have been seeking from God..