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Monday, April 20, 2009

Mama guilt

Okay..so we all get it at one time or another..mama guilt. You know that deep burning in the pit of your stomach when something happens to your child and even though you know its not your fault..you still feel guilty. That first face plant into the table, first spill off the porch, etc. When Andrew was sick in the NICU I struggled for months thinking it was somehow my fault, I even convinced myself that it was because I had drank Coke during my pregnancy? I know stupid..even after I found out about all of Nicholas' problems I felt that somehow someway it was my fault that he was deaf, etc. Truth is I still think that he could be better if I was better? As mothers do we ever stop feeling guilty? If we stay home we feel like we are being smothered by children and perhaps are a disapointment to our children because we are neglecting our "brains", if we work then wefeel like we are bad mothers! its a neverending cycle, but I think that if we just focus on really loving our children and making sure they know that then perhaps that will help ease the guilt..

1 comment:

Julia said...

I hear you. We're brought up with the idea that we can fix everything ("Mama will kiss it and make it better") and make everything perfect all the time, so we take it hard when reality bites back. Try to let the guilt slide off. You're a great Mom who is working hard to figure out the best ways to meet her kids' needs. Every time you have a "guilt" thought, immediately replace it with a "pride" thought (remember when I handled a puking kid, a plumbing malfunction, and an urgent phone call all in the space of 2 minutes? D**n I'm good!). That's what I try to do, anyway!