Monday, November 23, 2009

Deep thoughts and silent prayers

Well it has been 2 months since my mom has died. Things have gotten a little easier but she still crosses my mind every day. My Dad and I are luckily VERY close so we talk everyday and have little counseling sessions with each other. Through these little sessions we have gone through every emotion..sad..sadder..heartbroken..angry..etc.Finally, I think we are starting to move to a little bit of a better place. We have both realized the following:
1. God is always good. God always "has your back". God always knows what he's doing, even if you don't understand.
2. So..if #1 is true..then God had a reason for taking my mother so young..there is a deeper meaning and she is with God. Safe in the arms of Jesus people..what a place to be!
3. Thus, heaven exsists, she was good with God and all of us, and we know without shadow of a doubt that she is there with is but a short glimpse of time and soon we will all be together again for eternity. Her passing brought my Dad closer to GOD then he has ever been..he will go to heaven for sure now and maybe the loss of a mother in order to bring her husband and countless others closer to Christ is worth all this pain? Yes..for sure YES! We only had 50 short years with her but we will see her again and spend eternity together!
All of this has been swirling around in my head for so long and I feel a sense of peace in relaizing the fact that life is short. Life is but a moment..soo short so fragile and we take it to lightly. We should give life all we have and God all we have. He uses what we do here as a way of seperating out the good from the bad so that He can fill heaven with all those that truly seek him. Its amazing how the acceptance of this can change ones life. happiness, personal, individual happiness is overrated. is NOT all about YOU! Your actions effect many and sometimes one has to sacrifice a tad to keep those you love on the right path. Live life as if God is watching you and as if it may all end tomarrow. Don't wait to do the things you know you should..I feel very strongly on this which is why I went off on this crazy tangent. it would literally kill me if my mothers death is in vain. She was worth so much more than that and i pray that losing her will continue to keep myself and others in a constant "life check'.


Jen said...

So next time put you should put- warning, tissue may be needed. I love the new background pic. It's great that you and your dad have each other. My cousins mom passed away a few years ago and she does not have her dad or brother to talk to and it is still as hard for her as the day it happened because of that. I totally agree with number one. Actually I agree with the whole post. Especially this line...Don't wait to do the things you know you should. I have been talking a lot about that lately. I am glad things have gotten a little bit easier for you. And she WILL continue to cross your mind every day. That's the joy of memories!!

Jen said...

I meant next time you post, you should put. Maybe I should have read through it again...Crap its freakin 5am. That's what happens.