The Adventures of a Crazymama of 3

New Blog!

2010-04-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

I moved my blog and here it is...easier name..fresh start...

http://adventuresofacrazymama.blogspot.com

Visit me and Follow!

The things my kids say...

2010-03-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

Okay so this is a new one.. Do your kids say the weirdest things ever! Mine do and well so do I. Here is the best one I have heard in a long time. This one was said by my oldest son Isaiah on the way home for track practice. Setup: He really had to go to the bathroom...

Mom..hurry up..I have to go so bad my weiner is curling up!

I laughed so hard I almost had an issue myself! Just thought you all could use the chuckle! What goofy things do your kids say?

Julie and Julia and finding myself??

2010-03-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen Julie and Julia? a great movie about a girl who has lost herself just a little and decides to cook her way through The Joy of Cooking, which is made by Julia Childs. I am in a funk and need to find myself so I am going to cook my way through The Pioneer Woman's Cookbook. The Pioneer Woman has the best blog out there and all her recipes are AWESOME! So, I figure that I will promote her by cooking her recipes. Cooking with the Pioneer Woman will begin this Sunday! Stay tuned for what recipe I cook! yummmmmmm.... How I'm going to lose this last 20 pounds..I do not know?

What I have been up to....

2010-03-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well....Yesterday I started a new job at The Buddy Group as the Office manager. Super excited and what an awesome place to work! I think I will like it very much, other than the fact that I always feel guilty leaving my kids, even though, I only work 8:30-2:30..but still I feel like I should be home cleaning, ironing and sewing stuff. Is it bad that I enjoy working?? Is it bad that I need the break and I like being creative?? I have always said that I would never let work compromise my kid's education or activities and so far so good. The only thing I worry about is school. Presently, all of my children are doing well in school, but the big budget cuts are kind of making me worry. How in the heck is Isaiah's school going to function with half of the teacher's gone???? Maybe they can have the kindergarten teachers mow the lawn and the principal can run the cafeteria? Seriously, we cannot afford to cut education anymore! So, this leads me to my issues...Isaiah will be spending 7 and 8th grade being home schooled so he will be ahead and ready for high school. He is happy to go to his school for 6th because of science camp and all that fun stuff!
Other than that I have been up to my ears with children and their sports. Andrew is in guitar and Soccer which he loves! Isaiah is in track and dance. I am trying to create the perfect men here ladies! I want my boys to be polite, know how to dance or play an instrument, be athletic and smart and of course love God and be humble. The being humble part is a little harder but we shall see what happens in that department. In Isaiah news..he ran a 5:29 in his mile on Saturday which is his best time and I was very excited but that track meet went on all day which was not exciting especially when you are kicking it in Compton. Andrew's team lost their first soccer game, bummer but he had fun!
Now...to get ready for Easter this weekend! We are going to my Grandmas and I'm going to cook an Easter dinner. I am trying to stay optimistic but with my mother being gone and my Grandpa having Alzheimer's..it'll be difficult. It seems like I miss my mom more everyday? I thought it was supposed to be the opposite?
Oh well..it is what it is! Hoppy Easter!!!

Vegas Baby!

2010-03-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we went for a Much needed Weekend away with just the girls! Why is it that the best weekeneds are spent away? Really truly, that is the only way, MOMS ever get a real vacation. We layed by the pool, slept in, went out for some great dinners, had a slumber party in the room and most of all relaxed. When I came home I felt so much better and so much more rested and Zen like! Of course I missed the hubby and the kids but it was nice to get away and be just Jenny for the weekend and I got to re-connect with my girls. Most of us have been friends since the thrid grade....thats a LONG time.. Can't wait to do it again!

5 question Friday

2010-03-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

Linking up with MAMA M

1. How much time do you spend on the computer a day?

Ummmm..too much..Sometimes an hour or two a day..sometimes none at all. Just depends

2. Will you pay for your children's college or raise them to pay for their own way?

I will try to pay for some of it, it just depends. my husband and I both put ourselves through college and grad school. Our parents helped us a bit, a couple hundred here or there, but mainly we did it on our own. I think that is the way to go but hopefully my boys will get scholarships:)

3. Have you ever been in a car accident?

I have been rear-ended twice..but that is it..Oh and Once I dented my truck around a gas station cement thingy..I was a teenager and Fred the Ford was a big truck.

4. What is your favorite book?

Twilight books..don't judge me!

5. Do you make your bed everyday?

Ha...sometimes I do for a long time and then I back slide..badly
----------------------------------------------

A great POST!

2010-03-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

Keeping with my most recent theme..check her out! I love what she has to say..especially when it comes from someone who knows what she's talking about..the whole walk in my shoes..before you judge me! I have walked in the parent of a disabled child shoes and I agree!

http://specialneedsmomslikeme.blogspot.com/

A Person is a Person...no matter how small.

2010-03-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

A Person is a Person no matter how small..

In honor of 40 days of Life and Dr. Seuss' 100th birthday I wanted to write this little post...

Have you ever seen or read Horton hears a Who? It is a great book/movie about Horton who one day hears a who on the tip of a flower. Everyone wants him to just clear the field and forget about the people on the tip of the flower. They're small and insignificant and aren't really big enough to count for anything. The who's in fact are in entire civilization living basically on the end of this flower..seeing a relation yet..hold on its coming. The whole world is telling him that these people are insignificant but Horton insists that they matter. He braves being laughed at, made fun of, "tortured" in a very g rated way..because he believes that A Person is a person no matter how small! What a great message for our kids to hear. Now, lets relate this to life. A person is a person no matter how small, so how can the world say that a fetus, an embryo, a whatever, is not a baby?? Don't tadpoles eventually become frogs? Do people dispute that? The sad thing is that the world has made babies before a certain development not human so that it is okay to kill them, after all Women deserve a choice. Murder is not a choice. I guess what I felt compelled to say was that it just shocks me how much people have cheapened life and how little respect life gets. Women who get pregnant out of wedlock ( is that even said anymore?) or are teenagers, and have the whole life ahead of them are urged to abort and get on with their lives instead of taking responsibility for their actions ( yes I know some girls are raped, abused, etc..obviously I am not talking about them). We have truly become a society of death, so much so that no one is even shocked when one says casually oh, I've had like 10 abortions...blah..blah..WHAT! I have been there. I got pregnant before I was married, the month after I graduated high School, while I was a teenager and I was terrified. True, I was a very mature, very responsible teenager and had a supportive family, but I knew that I had to take responsibility. I choose life. Isaiah has been the best CHOICE I ever made. 3 years later I had a baby who almost died and spent 30 days in the NICU clinging to life, and now Andrew, is the best gift I ever got. Then, in 2004 I had the child who changed my life forever, Nicholas. Deaf and autistic with loads of other issues, had I known that he was going to be disabled I never would have aborted him and he is the best gift God ever gave me. We must treat our children, no matter how or when they are conceived like they are a gift from God! So, like Horton, we have to be ready to stand up for those tiny people and scream a PERSON is a PERSON no matter how SMALL!

Snow Day

2010-02-28T03:48:00.001-08:00

the boys had two Mondays in a row off so we decided (My aunt and I) to take the kids to the snow to play for the day. We found a spot just off the beaten path, grabbed our sleds, put plastic bags over and under our socks, because thats how we southern California people do it

My Andrew..ever the character..after he did some serious sledding

This is me..being silly and illustrating how to dress in the snow when you really don't have a lot of snow clothes..and why I look weird in beanies..

What a beautiful day in Big Bear! The sun was shining through the trees and we found this perfect little spot to ride down.It was untouched snow and gorgeous!

Isaiah was trying to get Nicholas to come along on the sled..but Nicholas was having NONE of it! Loved the snow, or at least eating it,but the sled..No.

The whole Motley Crew!

Did I mention I hate my computer??? yes..okay..

A Recap of January

2010-02-28T03:35:00.001-08:00

Once Again I hate my computer, but I digress.
January was a busy month here and there was a lot going on. So....I'll start in order of the pictures. First, my youngest son Nicholas turned 6! The top picture is of my friend Nick and his son Nico at Nicholas' birthday. I have known Nick since I was 8 and I used to watch Nico. I took this picture at Nicholas' birthday and love it...and I think it's funny how many variations of Nick I can use in one sentence!. This second picture is my sweet baby...errr..BIG boy Nicholas eating yogurt at his party. He was so happy and just loved everyone and everything but lets be real..he likes him some yogurt!
Then...my dear friend Susie turned 40! Her husband surprised her by getting a limo, flying her mom and brother and sis in law out from Nebraska and having a group of her friends waiting in the limo and taking said limo on a wine tour in Temecula! Too fun..so here is a pick of me, the birthday girl and our other friend Mary at the first winery.
Next...my baby bro finally graduated from school..well actually he graduated in Sept. but the actual graduation ceremony was in January. So here we are after the ceremony..My mom would have cried if she was still alive..we all cried because we were proud and we knew she was. At least she knew he finished before she died!
Well that was all the fun times in January! Stay tuned for February..LOL!

A Movie Review

2010-02-22T11:45:00.001-08:00

Went and saw Valentine’s Day this weekend with my 2 hot dates, Nicholas and Isaiah. Nicholas goes to the kids club (babysitting in a movie theatre...the best idea EVER!) and Isaiah got to be my hot date. Now usually I would not let my almost 11 year old go see a PG-13 movie but he knows there are some rules:
1. If I cover your eyes...no fighting me...NO EXCEPTIONS
2. You will listen to my opinions and my explanations, i.e. “Now you know it is not okay to have sex before you get married right?” “ People should not live together before they get married” or “ Isn’t that horrible for a man to cheat on his wife, those poor kids, how horrible”
3. I’ll share my soda but it’s going to be half diet coke half cherry coke and you can hold the popcorn.
4. No candy, I’ll eat it.
5. Laugh when I laugh and I’ll mommytize it for you later.
All in all it was a fun date and I really enjoyed spending the one on one with my oldest boy. He’s a pretty cool guy and is definitely his mother’s son and we are so alike! I wonder if he’ll want to go shopping with me when he gets older and is so much cooler then old mom????
After the movies we went to Old Navy with Nicholas because he received some gift cards for birthday so he got some really cute new clothes…Green is definitely his color and I love the fact that I can dress him HOWEVER I WANT...no complaints, only loves and smiles all the time.

Tiger Woods..

2010-02-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Tiger,
I watched your speech today and while I commend you for having the balls to stand in front of the world and admit what you did (even if your PR people probably told you to do it)..I don't think it was really necessary. Yes, you are a big golf star but you are still a person and you really don't owe anyone anything. We are all human, we all make mistakes and you don't see us all up there holding press conferences. Instead, I hold my own press conference with God and confess all my sins and mistakes to him. Thank goodness, he doesn't bring in his own body language expert to analyze my every move! Can you imagine? What if you would have sneezed? Or coughed? People actually get paid to analyze someones body language and criticize and judge them?? What is this world coming too? Now, I am not sugar coating the fact that what you did was morally reprehensible and disgusting! I believe that cheating is the lowest one can go especially when you have children..really when you cheated on your wife..you cheated on your children and brought shame, hurt and sadness to their doorstep. I truly hope you can get the counseling and therapy you need..but please don't jump on the sex addiction train...bad choices and lack or morals don't always = addiction. Find Jesus! Pray and get help!
Sincerely,
a Concerned citizen who just happened to see you on the news

Stream of Consciousness

2010-02-14T17:22:00.000-08:00

Went to my Dad's house this weekend..next time I'm going to shoot up with anti-depressants before I go.Just kidding, I've never done drugs nor shot up with anything, I'm being dramatic and you get the picture. He's doing well, considering that he lost his soulmate to cancer not even 5 months ago and now is lost. Thank God he's christian and has God!!!! Saw the amazing fireworks show in Lake Havasu and got a kick out of watching Nicholas' face light up everytime the fireworks went off. Missed my mom, terribly,painfully..cried a lot. Took the kids to the movies and then to bowling. Karoke and family bowling should not go together. These people were horrible and I think when we left my ears were actually bleeding. Got back home to flowers for Valentines Day from the Hubby and the trash overflowing..was that part of the present??? A for effort! C for follow-through! LOL.. Now just relaxing after driving home in the car with 3 kids..does cleaning and doing laundry count as relaxing?? No..didn't think so but what the heck..my life is just so EXCITING! Will definately post more pictures soon as I have been so Lazy!

How to lead people to God..Part 1

2010-02-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

Don’t be a hypocrite...the “do as I say not as I do” mentality does not work well here. People will always watch you, are always judging you and will always be the first to let you know. As Christians, people are watching us more closely and waiting...waiting for us to slip up so they can say to one another, “Look there she goes. Some Christian”. While it is impossible to be without sin, without mistake, it is possible to be with Christ. To do as the old cliché says, “What would Jesus Do?” I find that I often ask myself this but unfortunately I don’t always listen. Be slow to anger. Slow to judge.Often I am the opposite. However, the difference between the world and a Christian is that I have the knowledge to know that I am wrong. I cannot sin and feel nothing. I know what I did was wrong and I feel conviction and the need to make amends. If I want to lead as an example of a Christian, I must acknowledge my faults, apologize when necessary and repent. Most of all I need to try and do better the next time. Don’t be a hypocrite and think that your sin doesn’t count or isn’t as bad as another’s. Don’t be fooled, all sin is equal in God’s eyes.

I really don’t know why I felt the need to write this tonight. I just sometimes feel that God makes it so easy for us and we screw it up. God is not a religion; He is a person, a being, and one that we choose to follow. He gives us a book that has all the instructions we will ever need in it and all we have to do is follow it. So in an effort to keep myself on God’s path I have to write out the things that are in my brain. I know its weird, but that’s how I process things. It’s almost as if I’ll go mad if I let all this stuff bumble around in my head... (bumble?? Ramble, rumble...you get the idea). So this is my advice today, don’t be a hypocrite people because everyone is watching and most importantly…You can’t ever fool God.

Memories and Reflections

2010-01-28T22:53:00.000-08:00

Today is my youngest sons 6th birthday! So many thoughts go through my head as I relfect on his last 6 amazing years! he has defied all odds and grown and achieved things no one ever thought possible (except me of course)He has become an amazing little boy who is capable of so much more. although the cochlear implant didn't work out as good as we had hoped (autism and his genetic deletion thingy complicated things) it still is a vital part of him and he loves it and wants it on, but signing will be his language. So when I look back on the child who the doctors told me " do not expect too much" from and "just be happy with what you get" I feel like saying HA HA Neiner neiner..I can actually sign this in sign language..I learned! So as I decorate my house with cowboy stuff for his birthday party and make him a strawberry shortcake guitar cake (which is AWESOME! pics will for sure follow)I can't help but be amazed by the gift God had entrusted me with, and thats what it is. He is not mine, he is and has always been one of God's angels and luckily I get to be a part of raising him. I just can't wait to see what the next 6 years will bring!

Identity theft??

2010-01-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

So I was reading through some random blogs and I read a lot about people stealing other bloggers pictures and passing them off as their own on their blogs...can we say FREAKY..SICK..FREAKY..oh wait I already said that but ou get the picture..A lot of the bigger blogs keep their kids names private or give them cute little nicknames to protect their privacy.So I'm thinking I shall do the same..be a follower..LOL..Now to think of some good names for my kids..hmmm..terd boy and Sir Farts ALot..no? Well off to think and sleep??

Crazy Letter Thursday

2010-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. My house is by the School and so is my driveway,
I get that your house is in front of the school and thus people sometimes are in the way. But today you made a total arse out of yourself when upon coming home from where ever and finding someone parked in your driveway (I get that that was not cool, but an honest mistake, and it was also POURING rain)you sat in the driveway blocking all the cars around the school and proceeded to lay on your horn. You continued to act like an idiot and lay on your horn while everyone around you looked as you waved your hands in the air and whined about how someone was in your driveway. You know you easily were able to go around her and get into your driveway and garage. I mean was it really that big of a freaking deal to let this lady with her little 1st grader park in your driveway for 5 minutes? I watched you from across the street scream at this lady and then go over to the cross guard like you were going to tattle some more! Geez Mister..be a little more graceful..have some compassion for your fellow man and don't be such a pill. You were embarrassing to watch and you could have handled it sooo much differently. No matter how justified you felt, I just want you to know that you made an absolute fool out of yourself in front of everyone who was watching and that I will pray for you tonight, and ask God to lessen your burden just a little since you are obviously so stressed out that you have to go ballistic on someone for parking in your driveway on a rainy day.
Sincerely,
The Mom that told her boys how foolish that crazy man across the street was behaving.

And for my second letter to the second Idiot of the day (Myself)
Dear Jennifer,
Next time you are feeling like a stud and want to put all that weight on your bar at the 24Lift class..think twice. Your body just isn't ready to work that hard. I mean you have us on this diet and then are all out there working out too hard and killing us. Oh, by the way, thanks for stuffing us with 3 pieces of pizza last night as a reward..Thanks! Seriously, tonight when we go back to The Nazi's class..maybe be a little nicer??
Sincerely,
Your butt and thighs

3rd and Final

Dear HORRIBLE DENTIST,
Thanks a lot for being a slacker in Dental school or maybe just being lazy and not paying attention to me and my needs. Because of your in-attention to details you put a crown on my tooth incorrectly and caused me to have to get that tooth pulled out...and now to have to get an implant costing around $2000 and to make matters worse..the other crown and root canal you did was crap too! Guess who had to have 2 more root canals and 3 crowns because of it??? You guessed it..another $2000..I hope you have a great vacation as mine this year will not be happening because the money had to go to my mouth so I could continue to breathe and not get addicted to Vicodin for the pain..
Sincerely,
Jennifer "official white trash now that I'm missing a tooth" Madrigal

Finally

Dear God,
Please forgive me for being unChristian about my fellow man. I know I should pray for these individuals and I will starting right now. Love You and thanks for loving me even though these things to BUG Me. I promise to drop it and move on right NOW!
Love,
silly, hair-brained Me

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

This was painted by my buddy Rebecca Rois-Mendez who is an AWESOME Artist! I chose it because it is beyond words..it reminds me of how us as Christians are constantly being tempted by the evil forces around us..so awesome

Saturday Night Confessions!

2010-01-16T20:16:00.000-08:00

These are my confessions..cue Usher song..LOL
Just kidding..sticking with my New Year's Resolution..you know the one about Writing becuase after all WRITERS WRITE! So many excuses are now null..void and lets be honest they are excuses and as my lovely Southern Grandma used to say.." Excuses are like booties..we all got em' and they all stink!". Gotta embrace the truth of an old southern saying that while a little crass (spelling?) is so true!
So here is my attempt at writing consistently and maybe trying to get the 5 people in the world who read my blog to chuckle a little..so here are my confessions on this Saturday night..don't know what caused me to do this..it could be the Mexican food I just ingested..sucked down..Mexican food makes me honest..
1. I'm pretty much the same as I was when I was 6. Seriously, while I may be more mature I pretty much still have the same personality and tolerance level.
2. I think I need to seriously seek therapy for my addiction to the TWILIGHT books. I've read them all 3 times and listened to them on Audiobooks about 10 times each..I know.."WHERE DO U GET the TIME?" Seriously, audiobooks on an ITOUCH is life changing people! You can do so much while youlisten to a book and the narrator for those books is soo good. I'm thinking that my love of listening to them has something to do with finding an escape from all the recent saddness in my life..but who knows maybe I'm just a dork.
3. Everyone thinks I'm a great cook..I'll admit I am..but my kids eat a lot of Easy Mac and sandwiches..sometimes I'm lazy.
4. I never reveal my TRUE weight..I always fudge by at least a few pounds
5. Speaking of addictions...did I mention I listen to books on my I-touch..a lot! I'm trying to listen to sermons and the Bible to balance out all the other garbage I listen to.
6. And the biggest confession..I am such a dork that I actually went to the midnight showing of New Moon and was SUPER excited to see it and yes I will do the same for the next movies..so there..who cares if I'm 30..I'm still a teen inside!
Ahh..feel so much better..what are your saturday night confessions or are you out having a good time or doing something cool? Whatever..

Letter of Intent

2010-01-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

The stinkin' Letter of Intent Icon won't upload because my computer is a RA-TARD

Dear Nicholas.
I know you are deaf and autistic and thus cannot hear and really understand anything but I have a few little things I would like to get off my chest. First, I love when you kiss me..but if you could please do it without smashing my face off..that would be awesome! Next, while I love the ease of diapers, maybe almost 6 years old is a bit old to still be wearing them?? I mean buddy, you poop like a man and its very hard to "stomach it". Also, if you could stop writing your name on the wall, the shower in steam, the car window and with yogurt and instead use a pencil and write on paper..it'd be much obliged...but most of all Nicholas thanks or being such a super awesome kid! You amaze me daily with your ability to figure out the world around you and somehow find a way to thrive. I pray that one day you will learn how to talk, sign or at least somehow communicate enough to tell all those neurologists,geneticists,etc..that said to forget about you and to expect nothing to KISS OFF..hmmm maybe I'll make shirts. I wish you could understand how much everyone loves you! You are a blessing to my life and those around and I wouldn't have you any other way..you are an EXERCISE in patience..and I know that someday when you meet me in heaven you'll be the most beautiful, hearing, speaking,running and understanding Angel anyone has ever met.now if you could just please use the toilet and not finger paint your glasses, put your cochlear in the washing machine, toilet or out of the car window, or...well anyway I guess I'll keep you anyway.
Love,
Mom

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

Story behind picture..this is what one looks like when they have been all numbed up for dental work..I was smiling normal but half my face was numb..my Dad was laughing so hard!

Stream of Consciousness

2010-01-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

Just write whats on your mind..my brain is a really crowded place to go..do you really want a peak in there?
I am so sick of being plump. want my old youthful body back and whjy is this stupid weight staying on??? WTH!!! I wish I could look like I have it all together and why do I really bother writing on this blog at all..noone reads it..but do i really care..sometimes its just nice to vent and say what you need to say and get it out there..its freeing in a way..I use the .....way too much but I think it shows my pause and reflect..its the poet in me...the wait and the pause signify thought and well pause..I need to go the gym and work some booty off but I also need to clean the house..and get a real job and get out of debt and refinish my kitchen cabinets and balance my checkbook and trim all the bushes in the front yard and write a book which keeps bouncing around in my head..Does blogging mean you are an attention whore? Geez I really should use better language and beter spelling..I'm a disgrace to Englsih degree holders everywhere..look I even mispelled English! People, I can spell its my typing skills which SUCK! Speaking of sucking..Cancer sucks..I miss my mom..I think of her at least once every 30 minutes..her picture is looking at me right now and I spoke to it..alright I talk to her all the time becuase I know she can hear me and it makes me feel better..so does blogging or writing anyway..who cares if no one cares it feels good to release it..Grr..I'm feeling responsibel now so I better get off and clean..ta ta for now!

All that really matters..is the ever after..

2010-01-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

What does this mean to you? Is it about love? is that all that matters the happy ever after?? I heard this line or something like it in a song on the radio and I wrote it down, becuase thats what I do..I hear words or lines and I write them down becuase they usually lead me on some other tangent. To me they mean the real ever after..the place we go when we die..ever after..forever after..you know eternity. Really everything we have on earth means so little and we can't take it with us when we leave. All that is left of us when we leave is the memories and the lives we've touched. Its so true that one should spend their life earning tresures but those treasure are the eternal tresures and crowns that one may only redeem in heaven..I am so grateful that while I was never overly materialistic or vain, I have been humbled greatly and God brought me to my knees by snatching my mother away from me..I get it now..I have seen the light (Cheesy I know..but sooo true)All that realy matters IS the EVER AFTER! Afterall life is just a practice round where God grooms you and molds you into the person you are suppossed to be and prepares you for Eternity with Him. So even when the whole world feels like its falling apart, try and see the purpose of it, suffering is good for you. it humbles you..it rebuilds you and as long as you can see that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes even when you can't, trust in God. He does have your back and no one thats ever followed Him has been led the wrong way. They may have been led astray by other forces but never away and I assure you that they will spend the Ever After with Him and thats all the really matters.

Neighborhood Christmas Party!

2010-01-04T07:59:00.001-08:00

These are my wild and crazy neighbors! This was our 6th(?)annual Christmas Party. These crazy people are a big part of the reason why it would be very hard to leave this neighborhood..They seriously are like family..a large dysfunctional but lovable family..Check out the kids all sitting on the stairs..crazy children..Love em' all and we had a great time and the tamales were fabuloso!

Cookin' with the Fam Bam!

2010-01-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

Okay so every year...for the past 3 or so..we have this little holiday cookie cookin' tradition so we can spend time with my bestest cousin Heidi and her girlies..We make a lot of cookies and the kids eat a lot of sugar, frosting and cookies..but its all good anyway..It was a little weird without my mom being there..but we marched ..or should I say..baked on and I'm glad we did. The results were..delicious..(oh..just a side note..my stupid computer won't let me write about each picture individually..so know these pictures are of my family..Tom, my brother and Christy his wife. My aunt Jackie and her daughter Sarah and son Tristan. My cousin Heidi and Makayla and Nia her daughters and my kids, Isaiah, Andrew and Nicholas..)

The Amazing Nicholas!

2010-01-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

Okay..maybe this does not look amazing to you..but to me..he is wonderful. He watched me pound the dough, cut out the cookies and then place them on the cookie sheet and he figured out how to do it himself and helped..Best of all he was so happy and completely thrilled with himself.He is amazing!..at least to me he is!

So if a deaf child swear in sign language..do you wash his hands?

2009-12-11T10:13:00.001-08:00

This and so many other questions I am wondering about..What am I gonna do when Nicholas gets to the stage where all the cute things he does are no longer cute? Like for example..he likes to squeeze boobies together..you know make some cleavage for the ladies..he also likes to pinch..butts. Cute when he's 5, maybe not so cute when hes 14? I don't want Nicholas to be one of those creepy guys that people avoid and stare at but I'm scared what the future holds for him. We all know he's adorable but when he's 6'2 and manly..will you all still think hes adorable? Oh..and big one here..how am I going to control him when he gets taller and stronger then me? Maybe I should start weightlifting and bulking up now!Seriously..this is causing me major worries becuase I'm already a little bit overwhelmed...Well off to the gym I go..:)

Smile..though your heart is breaking..

2009-12-03T23:15:00.000-08:00

smile though your heart is breaking..smile though your soul is aching..smile though you miss your mommy but your 30 years old and she's gone and not coming back..who freaking wants to smile anymore? Laying in bed, thinking about nothing and everything like usual...you know doing everything but sleeping. Constantly trying to keep my mind busy so it can't sneak back into those last images..cold hands..machines beeping..rubbing her hands trying to memorize every detail of them..begging God to let her eyes focus on me once more..praying for her to stay..praying for her to stop suffering..kissing her forehead and telling her to go ahead and go because I would take care of Dad and Tom and the boys and it was okay to go and hearing her heart take its last beat..knowing she was gone..knowing she would never be back..seeing her still and swollen in her coffin..wishing I was blind at that moment..watching her coffin lower..wanting to jump in with her and going numb with agony..trying to remember her smell,voice, touch, anything and coming up empty and pain and yes even some hope. You see while I am not mad at God, while I know she is in heaven and He has prepared a place for her,while I know she's been talking to God about Nicholas, while I know she would never come back (yes folks thats how great heaven is)I am still sad. I am still broken and I still miss my mommy. I know I'm 30, but I still needed her, I wasn't done yet. I'm lost without her. Most of the time I'm okay, I fake it cuz' I'm really good at faking it, but I always miss her. I long for the time when the ache will fade enough so I can breathe again, pray deeply again, smile richly again and laugh abundantly again. When my mom died, part of me died and it dies whenever I see my father's broken heart. He is doing very good, as good as a God-loving man who has lost his soul mate can do. The world changed completely for us and everything we thought would be changed, everything he worked all his life for no longer matters and I kind of feel the same. All we have on this Earth is each other and I thank God that I have the family and especially the Dad I do. He stepped right in and while he fills them a little differently, he filled my moms shoes instantly. So even though my heart is breaking and even though my soul is aching..I just gotta smile..:)(andcry a little too)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

Diets suck!

2009-12-01T16:54:00.001-08:00

Okay I am in week 3 of my Medi-fast diet and although I have lost about 9 lbs..I'm frustrated. I think I need to work out but I know if I do I'll be starving..Just gotta keep going and keep that skinny body in my mind..Then, my husband decides to bring home some French Silk Pie which by the way..is my FAVORITE! I dream of that pie, I want to stick my face in that pie....mmmmmmmmmm.. Its the little bites here and there that are killing me on this diet. Well, guess what? those little bites add up and one big ole' fat booty...so guess I need to regain focus and focus on staying on track. This time has to be different, I have to get this last 30 lbs off for good, as my "baby" is going to be 6 so I can't really blame him anymore..or can I? No..darn well..off to go and drink a big ole glass of water and plan my workout for tonight. Oh why o why can't I just hook up my vaccuum cleaner and suck all the fat out?

I'm thinking he might be a savant?

2009-11-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

Nicholas can totally copy a picture after only seeing it once..Seriously..does this look like the work of a "mentally handicapped child"?

The picture at the top is what happens when you leave 5 kids alone to use their imagination with a toybox lid and some karate belts...trouble but freakin' funny trouble

First Thanksgiving without mom..

2009-11-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Well I survived...I made it through the turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, buns, appetizers and even the creamed corn. The creamed corn that my mom made every year and that we all LOVE..My aunt made it and it was good but not the same. I bit my lip, sucked it up, missed her like crazy but made it through. I only had to go into the bathroom to compose myself once, because I knew if I lost it..we all would. We were all tip-toeing around the massive feeling of loss in the air..but we made it and we all came out okay. We even had a good time. Now Christmas is going to be what is really hard becuase Christmas was our thing..my mom and I..we were all over Christmas. She was my other half in the kitchen and we had a system so..I don't know what I'm going to do for that day..maybe medicate?? We'll see. We did manage to get a good family pic that I promptly made into Christmas cards and sent on out. Can't tell you how much fun that was..geez..Well so far today I have done as much as i do in 3 days so I'm beat and going to bed. here is some pics from the holiday...

2009-11-25T06:24:00.000-08:00

Things that bring me Joy Tuesday

2009-11-24T14:50:00.000-08:00

1. Clean laundry that is put away.
2. A clean house, especially when I am not the one that cleaned it.
3. Freshly painted toenails.
4. Clean. good smelling children..vs. dirty, stinky little boys.
5. A baby laughing
6. Nicholas signing mom!
7. christmas..and everything about it..
8. Me in my suit (with a better body) sitting in achair in the Lake with a margarita in one hand and a huge bowl of tortilla chips with lots of lemon and a big ole bowl of guacamole.
9. Reading
10. Writing in solitude when something inspires me...
What brings you Joy on this boring Tuesday?

Deep thoughts and silent prayers

2009-11-23T22:23:00.000-08:00

Well it has been 2 months since my mom has died. Things have gotten a little easier but she still crosses my mind every day. My Dad and I are luckily VERY close so we talk everyday and have little counseling sessions with each other. Through these little sessions we have gone through every emotion..sad..sadder..heartbroken..angry..etc.Finally, I think we are starting to move to a little bit of a better place. We have both realized the following:
1. God is always good. God always "has your back". God always knows what he's doing, even if you don't understand.
2. So..if #1 is true..then God had a reason for taking my mother so young..there is a deeper meaning and she is with God. Safe in the arms of Jesus people..what a place to be!
3. Thus, heaven exsists, she was good with God and all of us, and we know without shadow of a doubt that she is there with HIM...so..life is but a short glimpse of time and soon we will all be together again for eternity. Her passing brought my Dad closer to GOD then he has ever been..he will go to heaven for sure now and maybe the loss of a mother in order to bring her husband and countless others closer to Christ is worth all this pain? Yes..for sure YES! We only had 50 short years with her but we will see her again and spend eternity together!
All of this has been swirling around in my head for so long and I feel a sense of peace in relaizing the fact that life is short. Life is but a moment..soo short so fragile and we take it to lightly. We should give life all we have and God all we have. He uses what we do here as a way of seperating out the good from the bad so that He can fill heaven with all those that truly seek him. Its amazing how the acceptance of this can change ones life. happiness, personal, individual happiness is overrated. People..it is NOT all about YOU! Your actions effect many and sometimes one has to sacrifice a tad to keep those you love on the right path. Live life as if God is watching you and as if it may all end tomarrow. Don't wait to do the things you know you should..I feel very strongly on this which is why I went off on this crazy tangent. it would literally kill me if my mothers death is in vain. She was worth so much more than that and i pray that losing her will continue to keep myself and others in a constant "life check'.

Not me Monday!

2009-11-23T21:49:00.001-08:00

I need to learn how to link this to MCKmama..her's are soo funny!

So here goes....
1.I did not..no not me..drink way too much at my friend's birthday party and proceeed to puke on myself, the car and a friends driveway..nope not me..

2.I did not forget to read the part where it said.."While you are on this diet you should NOT DRINK ALCOHOL as you will metabolize it much quicker"..nope not me I always read the whole book and pay close attention..

3.I did not go and see NEW MOON twice already..nope not me..I am not overly addicted to some teeny bopper books..

4. I am not in love with a fictional character..see #3..nope not me..I just love the love story.

5. I do all my laundry ever week and never...ever let it pile up to an insane amount..nope not me I'm perfect..ha ha..sorry couldn't help myself.

6. I did not take a sip of wine tonight..see #2..and the proceed to spen the next hour in the bathroom..nope I learn from my mistakes!

Ahh that was so much fun! So glad to be back in the blog world. I'm challenging myself to update my blog everyday for a month!

I'm still here

2009-10-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

I'm still here..promise..haven't jumped off a building or anything so don't worry. I have just been having a hard time getting back into the swing of anything that requires me to get out of zombie mood..you know like thinking of what to blog about..or having a conversation..or really thinking..I have been avoiding..living in the wonderful place I like to call DENIAL. It is a happy little place and when I am ready to come back to the living I will be changing this blog because to be honest..the address of this blog is too freakin' long and hard to remember so I'm going to change it all up..and I need a change and since I can't go drive across the country with some good music and a good pair of jeans..this will have to do. See you soon.
Jennifer

Heaven's new Angel

2009-09-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

I know this picture may look weird and the coloring is off because of the dim light in the room, but it's my last picture of my mom. I wanted to have the memory of my brother and I holding her hand. We held her hand and spoke to her all along her journey to heaven. She was surrounded by people she loved and the room was overflowing with love. I know she felt us and I know she heard us. We decided to take her off the machines early this morning because we knew she was gone and non-responsive. She fought a short but extremely hard and painful journey with a rare form of ovarian cancer. Never once did I see her lose her faith or throw herself a pity party. She was scared of course but faithful and hopeful that she would beat it. Its hard to really put into words how I feel right now, I'm so lost and sad, and lost and lost..and sad. I have lost my best friend, my comfort, my leader, my shopping buddy, my scrapbook buddy, my cooking instructor, my confidant, but most of all I have lost my mom. It really doesn't matter how old you are when you lose your mother, yo still feel like a lost girl looking for her mommy. She was only 50 and very healthy, 3 months and she was gone. It still does not feel real. All can do is try to find some positive in this whole thing because that's how she raised me to be..freakin' positive..AHHH.. but I am thankful that I had her for a mother for the last 30 years, I am thankful that she ,married my Dad and together we had a happy, normal..well lets not push it..abnormal but hilarious little family. She was our leader, the one who sat in the corner ,while we cracked jokes, and rolled her eyes at us. She was the one that always told me to "hang in there Jen"..well Mom I'm trying really hard to "hang in there" but my heart is so broken because I miss you soooo much already.

Every picture tells a story

2009-09-11T19:25:00.001-07:00

Married almost 31 years. Met at a park when h hit her in the eye with a baseball.Engaged 6 weeks later. 2 kids, 3 grandsons and a very happy normal marriage.

Battling Ovarian cancer..bravely..painfully but oh so loved by her daughter,me who she got pregnant with 7 months after they got married because my dad just couldn't wait any longer, he wanted kids, she said they had to have a house first.

Loved by so many and looking damn good. The next night after I took this picture, all her hair came out. But thats okay she so beautiful anyway..

7o'ish year old parents. Old German ways. Tough hands that have spent their lives working away for the good of their family. Now, mixing meatballs to make some comfort food to bring some relief to their daughter who they watch struggle. Tough, big hands of my grandpa that gently tossle her hair or touch her hands while his eyes fill with pain. Grandma cleans and cooks and grandpa helps in whatever way he can. Every night they kneel down beside her to pray for their daughter and hope for a miracle.

Mom in her chair getting ready to drink one of grandma's "power drinks". She carefully mixes each drink with as much vitamins as possible, telling me about each vitamin she puts in there, her german accent peeking through as she describes each little detail.

Dad, reading his instructions getting ready to prepare her "food bag" and to give her all the correct dosages of insulin, painkillers, etc. He is her little nurse and he loves her so much its painful. Its like having have your soul ripping apart from you, he told me once. I can't even imagine. All I do is take it all in and capture these pictures in my head so they will stay there forever.

Monday morning update

2009-08-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to Havasu on Friday to do some house work on one of my parent's rentals..had to get it ready for Labor Day weekend. Their friends Gary and Melissa majorly helped me out..okay let me emphasize the major part..it would have taken me all day and night to get that house back together. just some knowledge to pass on your way..friends that will scrub toilets for you when you are sick are keepers...seriously..golden keepers. Also, some more advice..on the way from their house the boys and I heard the funniest country song ever..ready..the chorus line went something like this.." Dip me in beer and throw me to the drunk chicks..over the bar into a redneck mosh pit.." with the appropriate southern twang and nasally draw of course..Oh Lord did we laugh about that.
But back to reality now, Saturday we headed over to Vegas to visit the mom in the hospital and she looked GREAT! she got that stupid tube (NG tube) out of her nose and was sitting up and all fresh and pretty. Good thing because she had a lot of visitors to come and see her. Me and my 2 oldest boys, my aunt Jackie and her two kiddos, Paul and Virginia who are old..time wise not age wise..family friends and my uncle Wally and aunt Lisa. She got so much loving she didn't know what to do about it. I made her this big posterboard full of pictures that says WE LOVE YOU MOM GET BETTER! and brought her all the emails and cards that people had sent her. That made her feel very good and very loved. We all took turns visiting her and rotating in the cafeteria downstairs. Then I left and took my grandma (mom's mom who has been in the hospital, her house or the hotel room for 3 weeks) out to play black jack for awhile..okay i basically left her in the casino alone at the black Jack table for an hour and a half while i went to henderson to retrieve the boys. She ended up winning $150. geez some people have all the luck..
Took her back to her hotel and sent the boy with my cousin Heidi's husband Steve who took them back to their hotel filled them with sugar and chips and played roughly with them while Heidi and I sat in the jacuzzi and drank a margarita. It actually was a some what relaxing weekend and much better than the sobbing wreck of a weekend the week before.
Sunday..my mom got to go home!!! my Dad had everything ready to go..car parked in front of hospital and loaded perfectly at 7:15 so when we got there to give her a hug goodbye and so the boys could see her..we nearly got ran over by a wheelchair pushing dad..my mom actually had to tell him to stop pushing so she could hug her sanitized grandchildren and nephew. Once he loaded her in the car and started to takeoff..Paul and Virginia rolled up and blocked him in..Virginia lept out of her car and ran to my parents car and ripped the door off to give my one my last hug..then Paul parked his car..jumped out of his window and flew across the parking lot to get his goodbye in as well..okay I might have over dramatized this a tad but you get the idea.
So now my little momma is home in her big house with her big strong husband to take care of her and a feedbag to keep her nice and strong oh and a little wiry German mother to cook and clean while she heals..I'll be up there again next weekend to bless them all with some Jennifer lovin' ha ha ha..feelin so goofy today. As always keep the momma in your prayers and hearts.
Thanks so much!

prayer request

2009-08-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
Please write my mom a little note of encouragment and let her know she is in your thoughts. she knows she needs a miracle and she's asking for help. So please put her on your prayer lists and pray hard my little prayer warriors.. Thanks so much. You can send me emails for her and I'll make sure she gets them..in fact I'll read everyone of them to her.
madrigalmama@yahoo.com

update on Mom

2009-08-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

My mom had chemo this morning and tolerated it well. She got a sudden burst of energy and was walking all over the halls and trying to eat straight off the food cart, but she is only allowed broth and jello. Eventually, my dad got her to settle down and chow down on some yummy jello and broth...mmmm..mmm. She's still pretty loopy and out of it but she's trying to stay positive and look ahead but of course, two steps forward, 4 steps back. Later in the day she pulled out her NG tube and was throwing up everything..so here we go again...Can't get her to keep the food down which makes her weak and even less able to handle and fight the cancer. My dad is hanging in there although he says he feels like he is in hell.You go to bed at night and try to fall asleep as fast as you can and then when you wake up you look around and just feel the slow creeping of grief crawl up on you and slap you hard in the face. It literally feels like someone is taking a shotgun to your chest and just blowing away. The pain is horrible and to watch your mother sit there and suffer is just unimaginable and even more so for my dad, this is his soul mate. He feels like a part of himself is being ripped from him. All we can do now is pray and hope for a miracle. So here goes some more prayers up to Heaven...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

On vacation with the family July 2009

showing Nicholas how to work the mashed potatoes..yummmm

In Idaho, July 2008

Mom and Tom on his birthday 2007

Celebrating Grandma jester's 80th with all her freaks and weirdos..

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

My big Daddy and Mom kickin' it at my house back in January

Hang in there Mom!! Fight the fight and WIN!!!

Cancer sucks and coming clean!

2009-08-16T09:49:00.001-07:00

Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks the life out of you and slaps your spirit around. It makes you hunch over and walk like an old lady and makes your skin hang on your bones. It is the ul;timate diet in that it starves your body, and rapes your soul. It makes you and the ones who love you question their lives, their God and their purpose. It makes you cry, puke, bleed, and sleep. Sleep in not the peaceful way you once did but in little intermittent bouts of pain/nauseua induced sleep. Pure and simple, cancer sucks. It sucks the life out of you and it sucks the life out of all who love you. Ahh..that felt good.
With my mom having cancer I have really started to question life and myself. Am I living the life I wanted to be living and more importantly am I the child God wants me to be? Up until Friday, I wasn't. I was a good person, a good mother, and a good friend,daughter, etc. but I was also a liar and a deciever in that I didn't have enough faith in God to know that telling the truth to myself and all around would be fine, becuase God would be there and he would pave my roads. I thought I wasn't good enough and that I could handle everything on my own..guess what??? WRONG! U need God and u need God to help you along the way by him showing you his will and his perfect plan and then you have to listen. For so long I have been praying but I just recently realized that sometimes you have to shut up and give God a chance to talk. Suddenly..or maybe not that sudden the answer will come clear. I had that moment..I finally realized that I needed to completely let go and let GOD lead my life. No more lies, even if they were just meant to keep the "boat from rocking". I have jumped off my sinking boat and started swimming straight to God and you know what? I feel great, I feel purposeful and I feel ready to live life as the girl I'm suppossed to be. Your words can't hurt me any longer because I am no longer that person who is hiding.The truth will set you free and it really does..TRUST ME!

The road less traveled..

2009-08-05T22:50:00.001-07:00

Two roads diverged in the woods...and I took the path less traveled on..Robert Frost.
I feel this particular line from this poem has so much significance to me now. We pray and pray to God to give us courage and strength but it seems He never does..then one day you realize that when you were praying for courage and strength He was giving it to you all along..He was giving you the opportunity to be strong and brave in different situations. Why is it that these things can't just come wrapped up in pretty boxes so we could so easily accept them and apply them to our lives? The answer is because that would be TOO easy and would not help to build character. Sometimes life is more about the journey then about the destination. Lately, I have been on what seems like a 10 year destination to find and fill this inner hole. I've prayed about it, been mad about it, tried to ignore it, tried to fill it with stupid things but have finally realized that in order for me to fill this void I may have to travel down the road less traveled..the bumpy one off the beaten path..because along that path hopefully I can find the answers that i have been seeking from God..

Update on Mom

2009-07-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well I am currently sitting in the ICU of a hospital in Las Vegas Nevada. Mom had her surgery and came through fine. She did end up having ovarian cancer and having a huge mass removed from inside..Good news is that the doctor thinks she got it all but she will still have to have chemo to knock out any other surviving cells. She will also have to have another surgery in the next year to put some things back together again. Thank God that she has come throught this surgery okay and is doing well. She is talking and moving better and will probablybe able to go home in the next 10 days. However..this whole ordeal has really changed my perspective on life and has made me really see how important it is to tell the people in your life how much you love them and to really live and live for what is really important..I feel like I need to really concentrate on what my life is and has become and really get back to being that person that I used to be. I feel positive for what the future holds for my mom and for all of our family..focus on the positive things..thats all that stand between you and the loony bin..Thanks for all the prayers..

Prayers for my momma!

2009-07-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

My mom is having surgery Wednesday to remove a softball sized mass from her ovary. While I know she will be okay..I'm still a little worried. With surgery there is always risk and I know that so again..I'm worried. In order to keep myself sane and not to go crazy I thought I'd write it out..So in celebration of mom..here are 10 things I love about my mom..

1. She loves my kids with all her heart and lets them be little boys..she treats them like children and keeps them in line..

2. She is ALWAYS there when I need her..even when I tell her that "I got it all under control..don't worry" like when I had my tubes tied..and I called her from recovery with a fat lip and in a lot of pain and begged her to come take care of me..

3. When I told her I was pregnant..a month after high school graduation..she didn't yell..didn't get mad..etc..she just hugged me and then helped me tell my Dad..(secretly..she was excited about having a grandchild)

4. she taught me how to clean and cook..which may sound stupid but now a days these are skills that a lot of women don't know.

5. She always made Christmas special and is now helping me carry on those traditions..
6. She's not a crazy pack-rat..which will make things easier when i put her in a home..LOL..just kidding!!!
7. She always says the funniest things and doesn't get too mad when we all tease her..we are all ruthless..
8. She sometimes helps clean my house when I'm not looking and when I do catch her she always makes sure I understand that she is only helping me because she knows that I have a lot on my plate..not because I'm a slob..which I swear I'm not..
9. Coconut creme pie..creamed corn at Christmas..enough said..
10. She always knew I'd finish college..I think..but she cried at my graduation party because she was so proud of me..
So keep the momma in your prayers and I'll let you know when she's feelin' good again..its gonna be hard not to make her laugh until all those stitches heal..

Declaration of Purpose

2009-07-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Musings of a Treasure huntress' blog..so thought I'd give it a try..
I am.mother.wife.lover.maid.taxi cab driver..but most importantly I am a child of God, a fierce warrior for my sons, a protector of secrets. I am that magic kiss that takes all their pain away, a gentle embrace for sad little boys. I am the maker of that super yummy dinner and hider of the cookies..I am a lover of nature..sunsets..long walks and peaceful breezes through my hair. I am forgotten often but always loved. I am the family keeper of relationships, pictures, ancestry, love, etc. I am not much to all but much to few..I am determined to see my sons grow up to be good men, good husbands, and leaders in Christ. I am a worrier, sometimes a drama queen, but mostly resilient. I am a dreamer of dreams, of writing day and night in a cabin in the middle of the woods, inspired by the sunsets and the quiet whisperings of nature around me. I am my fathers daughter, my mother's treasure and my grandpa's favorite..I am my own declaration of purpose..my purpose is to be all that God put me here to be and more..my purpose is to slide into heaven after I have served Him well and say.."Whew...what a ride!"..What's your declaration of purpose???

Not me Monday!

2009-07-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

This is from another blog..but I don't know how to link it..help JEN!!

I did not put on my headphones and clean windows just to get some peace..nope not me..I did it because they were dirty and needed it..

I did not wash the same load of clothes 3 times because I forgot to take them out of the washer..nope not me..

I did not chop the heck out of the most annoying, obnoxious rosebush tree-monster in exsistence and then dump a little gasoline on its roots...nope not me..must be some rare "rosebush disease"..

I did not ignore my work for school and write an entire essay in an hour all based on made-up stuff..nope not me..I am responsible and always prepared! ha..nope IT WASN"T ME!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T08:34:00.001-07:00

Just A FYI: God is always there...
(picture taken from my parents backyard in Lake Havasu on July 3rd

More Havasu

2009-07-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

The gang in the pool ..to the right: Nicholas swimming with Debbie

At Nautical Bay..Tristan and Isaiah

4th of July

2009-07-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

Debbie, Devon, Isaiah, Tristan, Andrew, me and Nicholas in the ront posing in our homemade tie-dyed shirts

Debbie and I, in the kitchen where we spent lots of time.
to the right: Sarah and Jackie celebrate the fourth as well

For the 4th me and the monkeys went to my mom's house in havasu. Juan had to go home so we forged ahead and still managed to have a good time. We pretty much just laid in the pool and were lazy. However, we did manage to go to nautical bay and let the kids jump on all the inflatables out there..so worth the $10. It was extremely hot but when you are in the water it isn't soo bad afterall. On the acutual fourth we hung out at my parents all day and lazed around drinking and eating entirely WAY TOO MUCH! We made some of the best food, calishetta, jalepeno poppers,cream cheese apple dip, cocont creme pie, etc. We were stuffed and full of food and jungle juice concoctions. Nicholas can now wear floaties and his life jacket and float all over the pool which is another huge milestone for him and a relief for me. All in all it was a very relaxing and fun weekend and it was hard to leave.

more on Zion..

2009-07-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

A nice spot to dip in the river because it was very hot!

The whole gang poses for a picture

Told ya Zion was beautiful...

Emerald pools that I believe you are NOT supposed to swim in..they fell in..I swear!

Isaiah, Tristan and Andrew at the Lower Emerald pool. It was very hot and myself and Nicholas, Jackie and Sarah in a stroller, my mom and Dad headed back down as the trail WAS NOT handicap or stroller accessible as it stated on the map. So Juan braved ahead with these 3 punks and saw some good sights..

Back from Vacation..and now back to LIFE!

2009-07-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

Isaiah, Andrew and I about 1/3 of the way in..

My grandpa (with hat) my aunt (in the back) and my dad(grey shirt) hiking away

Isaiah, Andrew and my cousin Tristan hiked through and tried to get as wet as humanly possible. They preferred to stay wet all the time!

Juan and Nick hiking on the paved part, which Nick preferred.

Nicholas checking out the campsite..yep it'll do.

We went to Zion National Park in Utah for 5 days and then just the boys and I went on to Havasu for the holiday weekend! What fun we had. I must say camping with boys and one of them being special needs is an experience but as always, Nicholas was a trooper. I try really hard to just push him beyond his comfort zone, obviously without terrifying him. This usually turns out well because once he realizes that its okay he has a blast. Case and point: Going through the Narrows in Zion. At first he wanted nothing to do with putting his feet in the cold water and then once I carried him..grr he is VERY heavy..he started to become interested and then started to like..not love it. He watched everyone and began to try and explore the rocks. It kind of reminds me of my FAVORITE poem, Footprints where the man wonders where God was when he saw only one set of Footprints..God was carrying him. This is me and Nicholas, I am determined to not allow or let him miss anything this world has to offer him so if need be I'll carry him..but let's hope he likes to walk because that little man is getting awfully heavy! So anyway, we hiked and enjoyed Zion and took lots of pictures, which will be below. Go visit Zion and hike the Narrows. I want to go back and hike all the way through because they really were breath-taking!

Nicholas' graduation from Pre-school

2009-07-06T23:32:00.000-07:00

Ms. Denise with Nicholas..he knew I was there so he was trying to escape, but he Does love her very much!

With aide Chris and teacher Denise getting his award! Such a little cutie!

Preforming with his class for the end of the year show! I was so proud, I seriously was fighting back tears the WHOLE time. I just wanted to bawl my eyes out because it was so awesome to see him doing new things and doing "normal" things.

update from the campsite

2009-06-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

We are currently in Zion National Park, Utah with myself, my husband, the 3 boys, my aunt her son her daughter, my grandparents, my parents..and thats it. Talk about a family vacation. It is sooo beautiful here even if we are all shoved in various campers and smell a little..we're camping right?? Yesterday we went hiking through the Narrows which is a very long hike between two very tAall mountains. I took lots of pictures so I'll post them when I return home. Anyway, my grandpa carried little Sarah in a backpack all down and up the canyon..what a stud. Today we are going to the emerald lakes and possibly tubing doen the river..Fun. keep you posted.

Mommy's little tiger Cub

2009-06-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

andrew as a new Tiger cub..entering the world of boy scouts and the picture that made his mother go on a diet...holy crap what have I became???

Colin and Andrew getting ready for Boy scout intiation

To Nurse or not to nurse..that is the question????!!!

2009-06-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

Started school online last night..again..Didn't I graduate already? Oh yeah..glutton for punishment because I decided to get my RN and be a nurse instead of an English Teacher..I think. I am very confused on this whole decision and the class I'm taking over the summer is going to have to make my decision for me. Do I go on and get my Masters/credential in Education or do I jump ship and get my RN? So many pros and cons to both that I am having the damnedest (spelling..??oh well don't care) making up my mind. They each will require the same amount of time, although the nursing program will be more intense and to be honest I feel a little stupid going back for all the science stuff. Its so hard when you are a mother because every decision you make effects so many people and you always want to try and make the best one for everyone involved. So we'll see what happens this summer as I am planning to pray about it and hope that God gives me some clarity on the issue..stay tuned..

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

Nicholas, last summer when he discovered pudding. He loves pudding and this was one of the first things he learned to feed himself. I guess he just fed himself to exhaustion. Too cute..

A Little inspiration anyone??

2009-06-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

sometimes I don't post because I get to caught up in reading everyone elses good stuff that I figure, what can I possibly write. Personally, I think my days are pretty boring. I don't home school (though I do have lots of respect for those who do), my kids aren't suffering any life threatening diseases..they are all healthy..Of course this isn't to say that I never have any issues or any complaints..see a few previous posts about that one..I just try to stay as positive as possible. I Love QUOTES especially ones that make you really think as I am what I like to call a 'word junkie" I love beautiful language and when someone can paint a picture vividly in my head..OH I love that! Helen Keller is one of my favorite historical people because she overcame SO many obstacles to achieve what so many take for granted.. normalcy.. communication.. relationships. She was amazing!
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at that closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. Helen Keller
this makes me think so much about many of the parents that i have come in contact with over the last few years. some of them are so upbeat and hopeful, others are so downtrodden and beat up. Finding out your child is "special" is never easy and each of us go through our own grieving process, but it is a grieving that we will go through time and time again as different milestones pass. This year, my special guy, Nicholas will enter Kindergarten. He is my last baby, my youngest boy and I'm excited but I'd be lying if I said that a part of me wasn't a little jealous that the other two neighborhood kids who are his same age are going off to kindergarten, but a 'normal" kinder class. I'm sad a little, this is yet a another milestone where I will go through another grieving process. This is an example of that door of happiness that closed..however I can see that other door of happiness just right to the left..through this door I see all he HAS accomplished and how much better and stronger of a person I have become because of it. I never thought he'd walk..He did and now he runs and climbs and jumps..I never thought he'd communicate and now he's starting to sign.. He loves me insanely, hugs me, kisses me and is truly my biggest fan. I am such a better mother because of him and my other boys will be greater, more compassionate men because of him too. See..there is always something good to find as long as one never loses HOPE! Stay tuned for Nicholas' big journey to kindergarten...

the Big 3-0! AHHHHHHH

2009-06-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

okay..it's here the big 30! Am I ready..no but heck its just a number right?? I still have so much more in life to accomplish and I am kind of excited to see what God has in store for me for the next 30 years. I thought about making a list of all the things I want to accomplish in the next 5 years, 10 years, etc..but then I started thinking..all I want is my 3 boys to grow up to be awesome men who love God and treat others with kindness. I want them to be happy and healthy and humble. Sure I love to learn to ski and surf and do a triathalon and maybe start a school for Deaf autistic Children..but really my mission here is to be a good mommy. So tonight I played baseball in the backyard even though the sun was going down and I could barely see the ball..and I hit my son in the mouth..whoops..then I played the playstation for Nicholas because he loves to watch the game on the screen and just jumps and flaps and laughs..then I forced myself to read some more diary of a Wimpy Kid for Isaiah (which by the way is very funny). Sooo, now all my little dudes are asleep and I am here doing some blogging and feeling better. I really need to blog more but sometimes I just get too involved reading everyone elses that I forget to post on mine..oopsy.okay. so for my birthday I am going to go to work, do laundry and clean the house.oh and cook and clean for everyone..wipe some butts and most likely a whole lotta pee off the seat..I detest PEE on the SEAT! this is me and this is what I do and you know what.. I love it and I wouldn't have it anyway else.. oh and I will be eating pinkberry instead of cake as I am determined to NOT go into my 30's as round and as pudgy as I currently am..he he he

Some new thoughts on the big 30!

2009-06-02T01:14:00.001-07:00

Okay so in 3 days I'll be thirty. Not ready..and feeling a little scared and panicked about it. I know I have 3 kids, a husband and a house, and so I should be content to be thirty. but I'm not! I feel like I should be further along in life, more educated, etc. Life is flying by and I just don't wanna miss anything..Stay tuned on more thoughts of turning 30..I need to go to bed!

Not me Monday!

2009-06-02T01:06:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged in a while so..here goes..
I didn't overdraw my checking account by a lot becuase I used the wrong debit card..no not me I'm on top of it.
I didn't let my deaf/autistic son play the playstation for an hour and a half while I laid on the couch..nope not me...
I'm not up at 1 am in the morning because of the stress and guilt of not me #1..nope not me..i'm a supermom..
I'm not wondering what the going rate for blood is???nope not me..
i'm not even considering selling my own eggs to find a good therapist/school for son..nope not me..
While this may sound like I'm going looney..don't worry..not yet..nope not me. LOL

Sarah turns 1

2009-05-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

Sarah loved that cake..she even was mad when they took it away..now its for sure that we are related! ha gotta have my cake too.

Before the party Tristan and Jackie were baptized at chruch! yeah

sarah will join in on the fun someday soon!

My little cousins 1st bday!

recap

2009-05-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

what a crazy weekend I had! so fun but so glad it over! My sis in law got married and all of us were in the wedding. I'm sure the pics will be hilarious. The flower person never showed up to put the flowers in the church and none of us had our flowers..oh well. the reception was a blast and we danced the night away. Finally got home around 2 am and then got up to go throw a bday party for my sweet little Sarah.. that was also fun but once again glad to be done. This weekend I will be going to Havasu with one of my girlies and our kids and just relaxing and enjoying life Have some serious stuff to blog about but just haven't had the drive to do so..and my scanner is not working. wait in anticipation..haha ha

Wedding weekend

2009-05-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

the original Jester mafia..lol

Isaiah and the beautiful bride

nicholas smiles on his own terms..when he wants to

gotta love that face

An attempt at a family pic

My boys

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-06T10:26:00.001-07:00

A budweiser and a butt-crack.. poor litttle Makayla and her eternal butt crack flashing issues.

some pics from the weekend!

2009-05-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

My auntie Susie and I waiting for the tacos

My kooky parents

cousin Heidi, Nia and Uncle Dean (aka. grandpa Dino)

Papa, Nana and Isaiah on his first communion

Isaiah with his nino Marco (godfather) and Daddy after the service

The Glatt side of the family (my arms look like a burly mans..hint for future pics..don't hold your arms like this to control your kooky crazy kids!)

After Isaiah's first communion, we had a party back at the house for the communion boy. A lot of family and friends came and hung out and we all had a great time.

anxiety dream??

2009-04-29T02:47:00.000-07:00

Okay.. it is currently 2:47am and here I am at the computer. why? well I had the weirdest dream that filled me with so much anxiety that I couldn't sleep any more. I live in a world of glass blocks that I seem to have put up all around me to keep things going smoothly. whenever I fear that one of those blocks is gonna crack...anxiety. So many things to worry about..so many things to try and keep straight..so much pressure! Why do I do this all to myself? I have been focusing on breaking down some of these "glass blocks" but every once in a while that fear sneaks back up. I guess all the ways i try and escape it don't work..darn. I guess sometimes one just needs to buck up and face things head on! Man..sometimes i wish there was an easy solution to lifes problems! Wait..there is..don't make things so complicated and have faith in God that he will help you rise above. I tell this o myself because I currently feel like I am drowning. oh well..just keep swimming..swimming..swimming...

Wordless Wednesday!

2009-04-21T23:20:00.001-07:00

I took this picture of my aunt and my cousin Sarah ( my little girlie via my aunt) on Easter! I love this picture because Sarah looks so stinkin' cute..almost like she knows she's cute and wants you all to know. I also love it because I think my aunt looks very much at peace and in love..with her little girl.

(Oh and I know it's technically tuesday night but I am determined not to go online Wednesday because I have lots to complete and I have been neglecting some stuff..whoops)

I know I'm crazy but..

2009-04-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

I know I'm crazy but..
I don't care..
I know I will have lived life to the fullest when I go..
I know my boys will be proud of me..
I know know I choose the right more often then the wrong..
I know I'm crazy but..
I choose to be crazy in a world that's going crazy too and..
At least my crazy has GOD right in the middle!
(that's a good place to be)

Mama guilt

2009-04-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

Okay..so we all get it at one time or another..mama guilt. You know that deep burning in the pit of your stomach when something happens to your child and even though you know its not your fault..you still feel guilty. That first face plant into the table, first spill off the porch, etc. When Andrew was sick in the NICU I struggled for months thinking it was somehow my fault, I even convinced myself that it was because I had drank Coke during my pregnancy? I know stupid..even after I found out about all of Nicholas' problems I felt that somehow someway it was my fault that he was deaf, etc. Truth is I still think that he could be better if I was better? As mothers do we ever stop feeling guilty? If we stay home we feel like we are being smothered by children and perhaps are a disapointment to our children because we are neglecting our "brains", if we work then wefeel like we are bad mothers! its a neverending cycle, but I think that if we just focus on really loving our children and making sure they know that then perhaps that will help ease the guilt..

Ahhh..take a breath.

2009-04-20T16:24:00.001-07:00

Okay so this weekend was insane! I'm still healing..First, friday night we had 8 boys come spend the night. Food, fun, freeze dancing, pizza, soda, cupcakes, smores...whoooo! It was fun. Then saturday I cleaned up all day and ten went to a baptism party for Juan's cousin's little boy..Joshua. He was sooo cute, big ole' fat cheeks. then came home..continued cleaning and then started cooking for my sis-in-laws bridal shower that guess who was throwing?? me!
We had a great time and although everyone was late (mexican thing?) she recieved some nice gifts, advice, and we all had a nice time. So now the weekend is over..I'm 10 loads of laundry behind and ready to start another hectic week! I know I'm blessed to be this busy.
oh and on the diet front..still trudging along..my willpower stinks and I know I really need to work on that. Today I was good and I only have 3 weeks until the wedding....better buy a good set of SPANX and a really good spray tan! Well off to do laundry and get boys ready for track.
Yee-haw

Weekend in Review!

2009-04-20T16:14:00.001-07:00

Nicholas was surrounded by all the boys. they were all signing jump and dance to him.

roasting marshmellows for smores..yummm

The birthday scavenger hunt. 8 boys for an all night sleepover . Isaiah got his Itouch so he was very excited. they all played and had a great time. Can't beleive I have a 10year old son! I'm officially freakin' old.

decisions, decisions...

2009-04-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

So I went to San Diego today to see another program for Nicholas that is for deaf and autistic/or special needs. Impressed...teacher was deaf but very social, sweet and a very animated signer! She had an awesome aide who was great with the 4 kids..yes 4 kids..sweet! Nicholas would probably do great there..but here's the problem it's in San diego 100miles away. School goes from 9-3:30pm which would mean I would either have to move there during the week and come home on the weekends or drive there every morning..oh and what about my other 2 sons who are in an awesome school, love the sports and activities they are in, etc. WHAT do I DO??? sacrifice the two for the one or the one for the two?? It shouldn't be this way..Nicholas should be able to attend a school near home where he can belong and be educated in a way that is condusive to him. If I had unlimited funds I would start my own school..does anyone know Bill Gates???no. me neither. Well..its off to bed and a busy weekend of birthday parties, baptism parties and a bridal shower..fun times. Keep us in your prayers

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

a picture of the River (at Moabi Park near havasu) early in morning..so peaceful

Some Easter pics..

2009-04-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

Nicholas LOVES bubbles!!! just in case there was ever any doubt..

Nicholas looking for eggs at my MIL's house. He was mad when he realized this egg did not have any candy in it!

the Family in front of the house..trying to keep the monkeys still..

andrew, Isaiah, my mom and Tristan eating the yummy brunch I made...

The neighborhood Easter Egg hunt...and they're on the way!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-08T18:13:00.001-07:00

Super Star..track man. thats Isaiah in the teal/navy suit coming into first place at the mile race. Yeah..he can totally outran me

Some new pics

2009-04-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

Nicholas signing more to his brother..he wanted more tickles!

Nicholas looking super cool in his new rectangular specs. Isaiah says he looks like a hippy..

Andrew, Nicholas and Isaiah getting ready for school this morning. Goofy kids..I don't know where they get it from????

Making lemonade out of lemons...

2009-04-02T06:24:00.001-07:00

These last few days have been difficult for me. It actually started last week in ASL2 class with the whole cochlear vs. ASL debate because it reopens a wound and makes me think about something I thought I already dealt with. Then to make matters worse...Nicholas throws his cochlear out the window and it gets destroyed. Now, here I am back in that same dark place wondering if I made the right decision and faced with kind of making it again. To hear or not to hear..this is always the question. So after having a few days of feeling sorry for myself its time to pull myself up and re-evaluate this situation. First, alarm goes off this morning and since my radio is set to KWAVE I hear Chuck Smith talking about being an instrument for Christ. Slap..right across the face. Here is yet another obstacle that God is using to test me. They say that God must test your faith in times of weakness because that's when it is usually failing. We pray for strength and courage and then get made when they don't come. Then all of a sudden we realize that these things aren't merely given...instead He gives us opportunities to be brave and to be strong. These past almost 10 years as a mother I have gained a type of inner peace and strength that I can only marvel at. My faith is strong, although not perfect, and the peace that radiates from inside has helped me through some of life's toughest battles. I can only hope that the struggles I have been put through have had purpose and that they have helped others too. Its hard to try to be positive in a world that focus' on so much negative but one must always try to see the "silver lining"..to make lemonade out of the lemons..etc. So hey at least it wasn't Nicholas that went missing..just his glasses and cochlear..those I can deal with. Nicholas not being around would be a sad sad day. Well that's all I got for this lovely Thursday morning. I'm off to make breakfast for the boys, get them off to school and then smell some flowers and make a big ol' picture of lemonade with the newest carton of lemons I've been given.

nicky lost his EARS and EYES

2009-03-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

Well..nick did it this time. He managed to throw both his cochlear implant and glasses out the car window. They are gone and we are jsut praying that someone somewhere picked them up. Hopefully my homeowners insurance or Cochlear insurance will cover it and get us a new one..but if not..WE ARE totally screwed as he cannot hear a thing without it. which brings up a new conundrum..(SP?)..should i even bother? Its not like the cochlear has halped him learn to talk..but thats a whole new bridge we'll cross when we get there.Good thing I JUST ordered his new glasses that are ready to be picked up today.

Sound and Fury

2009-03-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

there is a movie about cochlear implants vs. deafness called "sound and Fury". It basically talks about a hearing/deaf familys struggle with choosing whether or not to implant their deaf children. This is a hugely CONTROVERSIAL topic. Still, being the only parent of a deaf child in my class (ASL 2) is difficult becuase I feel like I'm a target. Its funny how everyone has an opinion but how many of them have actualy been in this position. Walk a few steps in my shoes and THEN give me your opinion. Don't judge me because you have no idea why we made the choices we did. Its funny, but I'm glad we chose the cochlear but no it didn't work out like we hoped. The key is to teach and learn sign while you do the oral therapy. Give your child every oppurtunity so that they can chose which way they want to go when they are old enough to do so. LEARN sign language, even though its difficult. Every child desearves the chance to belong to a school or a group. Even deaf autistic kids need a place to belong...any takers???

Mr. Isaiah

2009-03-27T15:49:00.001-07:00

Isaiah has his first communion in May. I'm so proud of him because he has had to take 2 years of classes, prepare himself, know all his prayers, etc. He's worked really hard and we're super proud. So this is the pic I took of him at the park. He looks like such a little man! Of course I took this pic as soon as we got to the park because within 20 minutes he was covered with mud from head to toe! Good thing I took these pics quick.

2009-03-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

he drew this face all by himself, just out of no where. hes been trying to write his name too! Not bad for a "retarded" kid. ha ha eat this school board! na na na na

Detoxing my life

2009-03-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

Its no secret that most women who hve had children think that they need to lose a few pounds. I have always been one of those that needed to lose that last 10 or so pounds but after my last child , who is now 5, I haven't been able to drop it. Now its really starting to effect my life, my energy, my health, etc. and its more like 20-25 pounds now. it seems like every time I try and lose it, I fail and gain more. WTH! I have realized that there are so many reasons why, but i haven't had the time or desire to dive into the why.. Well, I finally am starting to understand that I keep putting everyone else first and not putting mysaelf on the list. As stupid as that sounds, its true. Weight is about so much more than just "weight". It causes so many more issues and I'm so done feeling self-conscious, and not fitting into anything. So I've decised to detox. Drink more fresh juice, eat more veggies, no MORE fast food, etc. I already exercise a lot, but that means squat without eating right. I need to prove to myself that I can do it and that I have the willpower to follow through. How I feel is something that is completly under my control and I need to freakin' take responsibility for it. I mean seriously..its food and cookies (damn girl scout cookies!) and blah blah. So my goal is to lose 25 pounds by july which is reasonable. We will see what happens...go me!

something Funny!

2009-03-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

Okay this morning, i'm barely awake as we were all sick yesterday and of course since I can't call in sick..I was exhausted..
Scene: my bathroom with all 3 sons brushing teeth and geling hair. Andrew comes out of toilet area and says:
MOM..this is Awesome!
me: whats awesome? (worried thinking he's gonna show me some crazy poop..which boys do do by the way)
Andrew: I just went peed and I only got one drop on your seat!(serious and very excited)
me; really..cool
Andrew: Yeah usually I pee all over it because my weanie just dosen't want to lay down in the morning?? But today it listened when I told it to behave..
Me: now on the floor..almost peeing myself due to intense laughter and a very weak bladder.
Oh the things kids say.

2009-03-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

Isaiah with his littlest bro Nicky..What a sweetie pie

Sweet Isaiah

2009-03-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

So my 9 year old son Isaiah tells me tonight that he really loves me...On overhearing me telling my husband about some crazy detox diet I'm going on... Isaiah then procedes to tell me that I'm like the oil in his train..if something ever would happen to me then he'll stop running. His world would be all black and sad because I'm fun and super cool..This was followed by lots of kisses and hugs. Wow..what a sweetie. Guess I really need to focus on taking good care of myself and following through with a diet for once and finally losing this stinkin' baby weight (did I mention my "baby" just turned 5???)

Can fingers be mentally challenged??

2009-02-28T00:55:00.000-08:00

Okay so I'm in ASL 2 now and I am the mother of a deaf child...so signing should be pretty natural to me right???? WRONG..I look like a mentally handicapped drugged out old gangmember trying to throw some signs to her homies..AHHHHHHH!!! My fingers just won't do what they are supposed to and I just can't seem to get it. I have an awesome teacher and here she was telling us a story (in ASL) and I'm watching and nodding (pretending) I got the gist (Spelling??) of her story..there was a fish..kid likes it..horse smells..fish dying??ooops fish had babies..(thats a bad one to mix up)..Any who..poor nicholas..I'm gonna think I'm telling him how to put his shoes on and I'm probably gonna be telling him to put on the stars or to go join a circus group..????AHHH

2009-02-25T20:37:00.000-08:00

There was a field in Murrieta that was full of poppies and of course I had to stop and have the boys take a picture in the field. It was so beautiful and they were cute too..

2009-02-25T20:35:00.000-08:00

Erin Friend, Amber Ingram and me at my High School reunion. We all had so much fun!

Ash Wednesday

2009-02-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

Today is Ash wednesday..if you're Catholic you should know that..but if not thats okay too. I think it is an important day to reflect on the upcoming Easter season. So I was thinking about how lucky i am to have a family that loves me, parents that are still married and actually like each other and me and my brother. I have 3 sweet and kind children who are healthy and happy, but drive me crazy anyway..and so what if nicholas is deaf? hearing is over rated anyway. At least he knows me and wants me and loves me and is extremely happy..I just needed to let everyone know that it is so important to be happy with what God has given you. There truly is a reason for everything and a time for all things. Things that happen to you now or then are in preperation for something else. When my middle son Andrew spent the first 31 days of his life in the NICU and almost died several times, I realized that God was in control. The strength and faith I gained from that experience has helped me with thelong journey that I will be on with Nicholas. Truth is I thought I was tough until I watched my baby come back from the edge of death to grow into the little man he is today. Now, I am a tough cookie because I know that God has my back and will be there for me ALL the time. I know I was chosen to be a mother of a special needs child because God thought I rocked..So the moral of this story is..Don't feel sorry for yourself.someone always has it so much worse than you. Be grateful for what God has given you and make sure your kids know God. The best thing a parent can do for their children is to teach them how to love God..

some deaf ed. mumbo jumbo

2009-02-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

So now I'm in a new conundrum..(spelling??). nicholas is doing well in class but "well" as a dangerous word when it comes to schooling. He is finally starting to copy peoples signs but still doesn't quite get what they mean..soo here lies the problem. Do I stay at a so so school or move across the country to take my son to a school that not only rocks but could help him with both his schooling and his culture..he is deaf. I know he needs the roles models of other deaf adults and children and to be honest I would love to meet some other deaf people. I am almost at the point of standing by the local deaf school with a sign saying "deaf people please be my friend". ha couldyou imagine?? that would be so funny. So I guess I will have to keep going over all the pros and cons until I can figure out what would be the best choice..or until I win the lottery and just build my own damn school.

I need medication

2009-02-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

I think I need to be medicated. I can never seem to be able to get everything done. I took one of my bros adderalls one day and holy crap..it was like I was sooo super focused. I got everything done that needed to be done. I was a machine, but the whole taking "drugs " thing probably isn't the best way. So instead I continue to make lists and more lists and never finish checking off the last list before I start the next list. Sometime sI think I am the only mother out there who can never finish what she starts! I seriously want to be like Bree from Desperate housewives. She looks awesome all the time and her house andinners are always awesome. I know shes dysfunctional but shes uber organized and that makes me jealous. I wonder if they sell magic aprons at the store??

But seriously..

2009-02-09T17:14:00.000-08:00

Okay today while cleaning..I was thinking of all the things I could write about..Sad and Pathetic aren't I. this is such a stress relief. Okay, so my little man Nicky drew a face today. I know no biggy for a 5 year old..but for a little boy that is suppossed to be "retarded" not bad. The face had hair, 2 eyes and 2 ears..freaking awesome. I was so excited about it that I took a pic which will be up later. Maybe he will be an artist..His abuelo (gpa) and tio (uncle) are both artists and that side of the family is all artistic and stuff so maybe he'll be a art savant. Whatever. its a better job choice then the few that have popped in my head over the last few years..
1. Plastic surgery assistant:AKA boob and butt squeezer. I swear for a while THIS was what he was all about, squeezing boobies and smackin' butts.
2. Mechanic: or bomb locator: Loved to look under vehicles
3. Professional Foot smell finder or perfume judge: You take off your shoes an he comes running to smell your feet or loves to smell your neck.

so as you can tell Artist is sounding good..

Some men I love in poem form..

2009-02-09T17:08:00.001-08:00

My favorite heels are are red
Windex is blue
Oh Mr. Crockpot man
I love you..

My brother is named Tom
I hate a dirty floor..
Oh Mr. Clean
you are the bomb!

I should stop writing and get back to work..
A man that thinks staying home is easy is a jerk..
the poem is dumb but it was so fun..
Maybe someday I'll write another one..

I've been chumped...

2009-02-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

I think my oldest son has chumped me..He got in trouble at school yesterday and as a result came home all upset. School is difficult for him, but spelling especially. He is dyslexic so one can imagine that spelling words don't exactly bring out the Einstein in him..spelling is pretty much like torture to him and to me. anyway..he complained of feeling sick and I bought into it. Now here we are on Friday morning and Isaiah is home acting fine..but missing school. As soon as Nicky gets on his bus, once he finishes his last piece of cheese (5th one, this kid eats like a starving tank bt never gains a pound) I'm dropping the ax on this party. Someone will be kicking it in bed and studying for all 4 tests he has coming up-On the brighter side, I get to have a "hot" date with the hubby tonight so i guess I'll make sure I actually make it to the shower, shave, dress nicely and put on make-up..That will be a major accomplishment!

Boys and PEE

2009-02-05T17:31:00.001-08:00

In my house I am surrounded by boys. Even my dog is a boy. All of these boys pee. My husband, my brother, and all three of my sons. Do you think any of these boys clean up this pee?? Nope. I am always wiping up pee..on the floor, on the shower door, on the cabinet, under the rim and my personal favorite..when you sit in it! Thats a special surprise. I just wanted to share my feelings with all because holycrap I'm sick of cleaning up PEE!!!! Just sit down already because real men pee sitting down.

IEP meeting

2009-01-21T15:27:00.000-08:00

We had our IEP meeting today and all went well..sort of..They agreed to give Nicholas a one on one aide that will be with him during all school hours. I still have to get him an ABA therapist for afterschool and get some more OT going..but its a start. We'll see what happens. Hopefully, he will do well so we won't need to move. I just need to see some sort of change. I would love to get going full bore on grad school but I can't do that until Nicky is in a better place. Keep your fingers crossed.