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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Making lemonade out of lemons...

These last few days have been difficult for me. It actually started last week in ASL2 class with the whole cochlear vs. ASL debate because it reopens a wound and makes me think about something I thought I already dealt with. Then to make matters worse...Nicholas throws his cochlear out the window and it gets destroyed. Now, here I am back in that same dark place wondering if I made the right decision and faced with kind of making it again. To hear or not to hear..this is always the question. So after having a few days of feeling sorry for myself its time to pull myself up and re-evaluate this situation. First, alarm goes off this morning and since my radio is set to KWAVE I hear Chuck Smith talking about being an instrument for Christ. Slap..right across the face. Here is yet another obstacle that God is using to test me. They say that God must test your faith in times of weakness because that's when it is usually failing. We pray for strength and courage and then get made when they don't come. Then all of a sudden we realize that these things aren't merely given...instead He gives us opportunities to be brave and to be strong. These past almost 10 years as a mother I have gained a type of inner peace and strength that I can only marvel at. My faith is strong, although not perfect, and the peace that radiates from inside has helped me through some of life's toughest battles. I can only hope that the struggles I have been put through have had purpose and that they have helped others too. Its hard to try to be positive in a world that focus' on so much negative but one must always try to see the "silver lining"..to make lemonade out of the lemons..etc. So hey at least it wasn't Nicholas that went missing..just his glasses and cochlear..those I can deal with. Nicholas not being around would be a sad sad day. Well that's all I got for this lovely Thursday morning. I'm off to make breakfast for the boys, get them off to school and then smell some flowers and make a big ol' picture of lemonade with the newest carton of lemons I've been given.

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